Another "chat" (via texting) with Leonie

Why can't she just phone me? I really hate the textual conversation/argument that we have.

Tonight I had to explain to her why I was not going to reply to her pointless question, that no doubt wanted to start another argument. Why can't she just talk about the present and the future, and not keeping going on about the past? The past has happened, nothing can be done to change it. Stop reviewing it and move on!! Anyway, I digress - the excuse I gave was that of alcohol, which - to be fair - usually gets me in a lot of trouble. But I knew that whatever I said to her would cause upset.

Her question was...

"Hey been meaning to ask, you said before there were things I put on Facebook that were annoying - what were they as don't want to annoy other people? xx"

This automatically puts me at unease - as it's everything to do with babies, and how easy she seems to find motherhood. She never complains, life is just so beautiful, how could anyone (me) not enjoy it?

I know much of this is jealousy. She is much more laid back than I was/am. She can breastfeed! I know that this will annoy her, that I keep going on about it, as Toby is a happy, healthy 7 year old now, but she doesn't realise how guilty I feel for being a "bad mother" as per health visitors and NCT nazis. Another reason for my jealousy is that I can't have anymore children, which makes me really sad.

Anyway, the whole reason for this blog was to express my annoyance at her penultimate comment...

"...I've made sure to never comment with Toby...." 

Had she made a comment, this would have been pre-Brodie. We all know that you cannot comment on children until you have them yourself, and since Toby is 7 years older than Brodie, I feel that I can comment/assist (although she would never take it as this) on Brodie, as I have been there with a 6month old. She - however - has never had a 7 year old for longer than a few hours, and we all know that it is VERY different looking after someone else's child. 

I am dreading seeing her next week. She had suggested meeting for a drink before I see Mum, but I may say that I can't, and that she can just meet me at Mums to avoid any potential arguments....

Watch this space...